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    • Knots::
    tight.
    Eyebrows:
    in pairs and not too bushy.
    Sleep:
    in my bed.
    Farts:
    loud and raunchy.
    Monkeys:
    grinding organs.
    Ziplock Bags:
    hefty.
    Ice:
    shaved.
    Poodles:
    trimmed.
    Movies:
    on demand.
    Raisins:
    shriveled up.
    Shifts:
    flexible.
    Convenience stores:
    always open.
    Bowling balls:
    taking fingers in three holes.
    Soup:
    chunky.
    Shoes:
    tied up.
    Calculators:
    doing all the work for me.
    Parking spaces:
    handicapped.
    Whitehouse:
    sans bush.
    Toilets:
    full of my fluids.
    Rhinoceri:
    horny.
    Flags:
    on poles.
    Salads:
    undressed.
    Umbrellas:
    open wide.
    Butchers:
    handling sausage.
    Cows:
    big, smelly, and ready to be milked.
    Powerdrills:
    on my worktable and ready to screw.
    Websites:
    easy to use.
    Dogs:
    coming when called.
    Socks:
    coming in pairs.
    TVs:
    mute.
    Major motion pictures:
    coming soon in theaters everywhere.
    Kegs:
    full of alcohol, on the floor, and ready to be tapped.
    Pools:
    wet and shallow.
    Nalgenes:
    indestructable and reusable.
    Straws:
    thin and plastic.
    Peeps:
    cute and yellow.
    Medieval prisoners:
    chained to my wall.
    Carpet:
    on the floor.
    Lights:
    turned on.
    Signature:
    giving consent.
    Garbage trucks:
    coming loudly in the morning.